Thoughts on Tarping and Caldera Worship

Last night I spent outdoors, under a Team IO 8x5 ft spinnaker tarp that @Fenlander2 has kindly given to me. I've been thinking about tarping/basha-ing for a long time now. Various guys I knew had talked about it, in fact it goes back further than that into my late teens / early 20s reading John 'Lofty' Wisemans book, the SAS Survival Handbook. It's certainly been enhanced by watching too much of Ray Mears and of course Bear Grylls.

So once Robin said he was going to send me a tarp I got all excited. I was on the phone to him as I unwrapped his parcel, finding a Caldera Cone and meths burner for my MSR Titan Kettle, along with a very green tarp and a bundle of hanked cordage and 8 Akto tent pegs. What a lucky girl! I think he knew how excited I was over the phone, as indeed I was and couldn't wait to play with it all, the first stop being to make numerous cups of coffee with the cone!

After watching watched BPL's Tarp DVD (extremely useful and informative) I had a go pitching the tarp in different configurations in my back garden, until I trampled my grass well enough that I don't think it'll recover til next spring...best get out and do it properly!

The following day (yesterday), I went out into Derbyshire to a place I'd eyeballed for bivying before. It was an old, overgrown and abandoned millstone quarry area that silver birches had taken over. In fact there are so many opportunities for wild camping, with or without a tarp. Some areas have clearly been used in the past, and even with this being National Trust land, campfire rings are still in evidence in a couple of places. I didn't anticipate seeing anybody though, given we're towards the end of October in mid week.

Pitching the tarp was pretty easy; once you've got it in a basic A frame with low set walking poles and a bit of tension on the guys you can then manipulate it into a variety of shapes. Because it wasn't howling with wind and rain and I wanted to make the most of the openness, I opted for a lean-to shape with a lip. Setting it up was simple and once I'd moved the poles out to the appropriate eyes I quickly got tension on the fabric and set the pegs. Unrolling my polycro groundsheet and then the neoair, Rab Survivor Bivy and my Softie Elite 3 sleeping bag in it, I was set. I'd timed it right for me as it was getting pretty dusky so I got into my bag and thought, "Now for the cone!"

I know these have been out for ages and a lot of readers have probably moved on to other things, but for me, after hankering after one for months now, to be given this and it fitting my Kettle and, and, oh, I could go on. Believe me I was and still am excited about it. I'd actually had to get some more meths off my Dad because I'd run out, messing about with it at home. That's how excited I was. I had a cup of coffee and heated up some chicken soup I'd made earlier and then watched the flame dance the meths away (I need to sort out measuring it out).

One of the great things about using the tarp was the obvious exposure and closeness to nature. The last night I spent under cover was in a Trailstar on Grassmoor in the Lake District. That had felt very different to my old TN Trisar. This was going another step further. Laying there with the tarp at ground level behind me, shooting towards the sky with the lip hanging over towards the side, it was brilliant to feel open to the environment, much more part of 'it' than I had done before. I felt safe (from people) and secure in how I'd pitched it. Sending a few tweets out haphazardly (I had either none or one bar of signal) I let Robin know I was sorted and happy and had a couple of well wishes from Twitter friends; thanks guys! It was funny to engage with them as I was laying there in the dark with towering rock around me. But after a while I withdrew and settled in.

Being more open your senses do work harder. One of the unexpected things I experienced was that in paring down the shelter, my thoughts seemed to be pared down. I happily lay there listening to the wind in the trees as it swirled around me, occasionally being funnelled down the bowl of the quarry and dancing over my face. The last of the birds were singing. I heard the Manchester to Sheffield train once or twice, it running through Totley Tunnel. At one point my imagination started into overdrive and I thought of the men who had died in it's making, imagining them coming on the hill to get me (this is why I don't watch horror films!). I controlled and dismissed that thought pretty quickly. Instead, maybe because of the physical space I'd found, my mind started to relax and instead of the teeming thoughts I'm usually occupied with, I started to really relax. It was as if by removing all the dross I surround myself with, all that had fallen away and I really could see different things in my life with some clarity. Giving me focus and purpose again. Making clear some things I need to let go of. Thinking about my motivation to do different things.

Friends have asked me recently why I want to do the PCT and after unravelling the layers, underneath it is a sense of paring down life to its absolute basics. I just want to walk the trail, to camp, to eat, to sleep, to walk again. Walking for me is about connecting with nature and the wider world. Not the internet, not spending my money and time in a shopping mall so that I fit in. I am not sure that I have ever fitted in in a conventional sense, certainly not as a girl/woman/lady (I hate these labels). I just want to be connected to the outdoors and to live, really live in it. Connected, using my 5 senses. Using my body (I am so frustrated my knee is still painful after Coledale!). Using my mind in a constructive way; problem solving, being creative, sharing experience, learning from others, forming deep friendships. All this from tarping...

Waking in the morning after the best night sleep outdoors for a long, long time, I worshiped the Caldera God again with a cup of coffee and porridge and quickly packed up. I wandered around the quarry, climbed up the quarry walls (not good...) and out into the sienna landscape.